Category Archives: At home at the end of the world

life at home. little comments and blurbs.

I don’t care how you do it…

just save me! More music please!

Listening to: “Save Me” (what else?)  by Remy Zero

What a way to productively spend my rest day! I spent the last 3 hours (maybe more) watching Smallville; and managed to finish (again) Season One in it’s entirety. Even crossed over to Season 2 (first couple of episodes). I find the whole show very enjoyable, if a little episodic in the beginning.

I feel rather sorry for Lex Luthor (played very well by Michael Rosenbaum), he is really trying hard to go against his darker leanings (can you say walking the very fine line between good and evil?) Clark is extremely likable, a little bit obtuse from time to time, but essentially a good person. I like the fact that he is very loyal and loving to his friends (and some of the credit goes to Jonathan and Martha Kent for raising him so well). Lana’s ok, but I think she is more suited to Lex Luthor (I know! My personal bias is showing! hehe I’ve always been a Lex-Lana fan ) than Clark Kent (Chloe is better-suited to Clark, they just don’t know it). Speaking of Chloe Sullivan. She’s my favourite character, don’t even ask why. I’ll tell anyway, she’s the one I can relate to the most. You  know, newspaper staff in high school? Brainy girl? Well, not just that, but a myriad of other things (I like her fashion sense as well. Brainy-chic.) I’ll say this, I’ve always been glad to be appreciated for my supposed “intelligence” (academic and other-wise) and visual talents, but sometimes, a person wants to be noticed for other things as well (not just because your name is plastered in the honors list or you’ve happened to finish a good drawing). But at the end of the day, I think a person should have been happy to have been appreciated in any way at all. And it may sound totally unrelated, but in my lif e experience,  it’s important for people to build a “strong backbone” (lest you get trampled upon) . Apart from maintaining good friendships.

I’ll finish Season 2 today probably. I just kept pressing the “Next” button on the DVD player and then I noticed it’s already 8:30 in the morning.

I did not totally laze-around the house all day though, I spent some time “cooking” (although I’m not much of a cook), washing some dishes, and doing the laundry (the usual domestic stuff). Not to mention wiping off dog poo.

I’ve also finished reading “Dead to the World” by Charlaine Harris (book 4 of the Sookie Stackhouse novels). It’s an immensely good read. Not like the tripe that is  Twilight (sorry, can’t resist the comparison). It’s more of an adventure than actual romance, and the plot is fast moving and quite concise. Most of all, Sookie is a much better narrator and character than Bella Swan. She has a sharp, witty, if sometimes ironic sense of humor. She knows who she is and is very much comfy in her own skin. And insists that she be treated as an equal by both Bill (and Eric).Although I think Eric is the one who really knows how to treat her well. Another very nice quality of hers is that she doesn’t wallow in despair like Bella. So Bill went to Peru, life goes on. You can’t suddenly become incapacitated just because your boyfriend left you. Most of all, Sookie has the backbone I’m talking about earlier, possibly borne out of her “talent”/”disability”.

Back to real life. Things are looking better at work, but not peachy (we’re expected to be on ultra-formal tomorrow).  Although I always try to keep my work and my “Life” in separate boxes. I have this tendency to compartmentalize. Hard habit to break.

I was cleaning up and then there were zombies…

Watching: “Resident Evil: Degeneration” (wasn’t able to finish it the first time)

Reading: “Cold Mountain” by Charles Frazier

(on a related note, aside from this book, I’m also able to get something by E. Annie Proulx all for 50php each-and hardbound to boot – at   Makati Cinema Square. I’ll go back there probably by next payout to check out some more books.  I have Percy Jackson and the Olympians on my next reading list – the protagonist has the same name as my younger brother, Perseus – but I’ll need to go to Fully Booked for those).

In our apartment, things tend to pile up (dishes, clothes, footware, books). No matter what sort of clean up you try to do. That can’t be helped since all 6 of us work in the night shift. And like vampires, we are asleep during the day (except maybe on weekends). I’ve just finished washing last night’s dishes (left in the sink until someone gets in the mood to wash them) and believe me, I’ll see another pile tomorrow. I’m not complaining though. I like the people I’m living with. Just an observation. 😉

Not a bad week, I guess. Somehow,  I can see that things are progressing for the better. Update on RE: Degeneration, so why was Leon Scott Kennedy the only one not wearing any protective gear?? I understand he’s the big, bad-ass agent sent by the White House – due to his experience in handling zombified citizens – but I’m quite sure he’s not bite-resistant, is he? I guess the helmet would mess-up his hair! Don’t get me wrong, I love the Resident Evil games (the movies are another story); but don’t tell me you didn’t notice some “impracticalities” from time to time. Just look at Jill Valentine’s attire on RE: Nemesis (which they have unwisely adopted in the movie). Would you fight zombies on a skirt and a tank top?? On top of that, the T-Virus is highly infectious. What if she gets bitten by infected mosquitoes?? But that’s just me being nitpicky.

>on RE: Degeneration : They are now being herded together in a military camp (Leon, Claire and the rest) just outside the airport. Trust me, the military is always almost useless on RE games; their only purpose is to propagate the number of the infected-undead. Oh and the vaccine just happened to be destroyed. And before the movie is over, I’m sure the long-haired guy (who happens to be the older brother of  one of the SRT members – the Japanese really love this theme) shown earlier will make an appearance. Will he be the customary “boss”? I’m getting ahead of myself. Really? Or will that be the Brit-guy?

>on RE: Degeneration : And Brit-guy with the sexy accent just invited Claire to “a late afternoon tea”. Naturally, she said yes. This movie is getting better all the time.

Tomorrow is laundry day. Yay! If I can manage to finish with HealthLab early.

>on RE: Degeneration : Ok, so big-brother (named Curtis) is the “Birkin” stand-in (he didn’t manage to keep his full consciousness either). He’s now fully transformed (after many explosions), and looks far uglier than Nemesis. Movie is almost over. From what I’ve seen, it’s a conglomeration of plots from the previous RE games. Wait! Brit-guy just disappeared.

I’m quite excited to see the re-make of  “Clash of the Titans” (I’ve seen the 1981 version when I was in the 5th grade, shown alongside “Sakay”, if you can believe it). It has to be exciting, with Liam Neeson as Zeus, and Ralph Fiennes as Hades. Sam Worthington as Perseus? well I guess he’s ok (I can see an action-fantasy actor in the making).

Random Insanity and Bad Movies

Forgive this post for occasional lack of coherence, it’s 11:28 pm here and I haven’t taken a bath yet. How’s that for an excuse?

Ok, I’m back at the boarding house (I just went and submitted my requirements for a company I will not mention here. Top secret stuff) here in Manila. Neil Gaiman was at Rockwell today apparently. Too bad I wasn’t able to make it for a number of reasons (including lack of funds).

I curse the person who typed my NBI Clearance. How could he/she make the mistake of misspelling my name? Well, not entirely, more like a single letter typo. Which is more infuriating, considering it’s the reason I’m stuck in here;  I’m also pissed with myself for not checking! Another thing, is my lack of success at procuring funds from a relative, whom I know has money (but refuses to help because of blah, blah, blah, excuses, excuses). I  may sound childish,  but I’m shot of him. Ok, moving on.

I’m currently watching something called “Dinocroc”. No kidding. I like watching B-Movies from time to time.  As the title implies, it’s about a dinosaur-crocodile hybrid running amok and killing a bunch of people. Opens with some guy (who looks suspiciously like Crocodile Dundee) sitting on a boat, trying to shoot something in the murky waters of a place called Ngukurr, Northern Australia. Oh, wait I missed something, he sort of slit his arm open to draw blood (to attract whatever creature he is hunting I presume. Although I miss the point of injuring yourself on purpose while on the hunt. He could have drawn the blood earlier or something). Well, cue in some exposition (in the form of power-pointy letters) and supposedly-scary-but-really-annoying music. And now we cut to  scientists making genetic experiments on some lab. For the purposes of what? I forgot. Anyway, one of the specimens went postal and destroys the cameras on the holding cell. Of course the first thing a sensible person would do is to ENTER the cage, when you don’t KNOW WHERE the creature is. How this person ever became a scientist boggles the mind.

So, naturally, the girl gets killed and the creature escapes. Let’s see what happens. I’m sure “Crocodile Dundee” will appear later. And there’s a kid with a missing dog. I think I know where this is going. Hm. And the guy who plays the sheriff of sorts looks awfully familiar (I’m sure I’ve seen him as a minor character on another movie).

“..out on a limb..”

Listening to: “Shatter” by Feeder

Reading: “The Night Watch” by Sergei Lukyanenko ( decided to give it a rest with “Journeys” for a while), plus excerpts of “Diana: In Search of Herself” by Sally Bedell Smith, and I found this most interesting passage(s) – some of which I can “relate” to:

..In fact, her friends supplied only partial and often contradictory views, because she was incapable of fully revealing herself to anyone…

…she was so mercurial. Even those close to her had trouble grasping what was going on in her mind. Her moods were volatile, causing her friends and relatives to walk on eggshells to avoid provoking her. “Sometimes she appeared to change from one moment to the next,” her second cousin Robert Spencer told me. “One time she would be sweet and glad to see you, the next she would be distant.”

These frequent shifts in her personality reflected her fragile sense of herself and the turbulence of her emotions.

Well, enough of that. I’ve made several updates on the website as well. The December 2007 calendar is up (featuring Jane Eyre) and I decided to add another page – , just a collection of my old Calendar layouts.

I’ll be damned. I may have to jump to the nearest bridge soon or else retreat to Batanes Islands. Do you know how it feels like to have an “ax” hovering over your head? Ready fall at the slightest provocation? I know I do. It appears I’m hell bent on “digging my own grave”. How else could I explain my latest move? Once again my recklessness got the better of me.

“tit for tat”

Listening To: “Manatsu no Yoru no Yume ” by Shikao Suga (Deathnote Movie Theme)

Watching:“DeathNote” anime

Reading:“Crime & Punishment” by F. Dostoyevsky

WiP: “Harry Potter Trio” portrait

Website WiP:“JediDawn V.6” (I’m starting to get the feel of coding a webby again. I plan to make this the “grandest” version yet – not this blog, but my official website. I got the interface designed, but a few more details should be added. I particularly loved the colour scheme I came up with)

Been quite busy lately. I was not able to transfer the latest Photo-Manip I made, as of yet. Maybe next week. I’m currently into “Deathnote”. I originally planned on watching 5 episodes yesterday, but due to a sudden attack of “the headache”, I went to sleep after episode 3. Quite an interesting anime, seeing as the “protagonist” fits the description of an anti-hero, at times Light is even more cold-blooded and psychopathic than the criminals he killed. I don’t know whether I should agree with “Light Yagami (or Kira) or with “L”. Since they both claim to be on the side of justice. wahaha. 🙂 The Shinigami “Ryuk” is really quite funny in a twisted way too. I watched a little of DEATHNOTE live action. “Light” was played by the same guy who played Shuya Nanahara on Battle Royale.


Wake me up when September Ends: The month of September has been quite extraordinary for me. Meaning to say it has been very “weird”. I think I may have somehow managed to “jinx” myself. Why?

  • One, my Quality Scores at work has been “very low”. 83.33% at one point. It’s a good thing I managed to bring it up to at least 87.33 % before the month ended. Not that I care too much about getting a high score (like some people I know). Frankly, I only care about the money and the last thing I need is an FA (Focus Alert) when I have bills I need to pay. I already have TWO FA’s under my belt last month (one was for Compliance – question: why do I always have to sabotage myself? – Because, I have been “over-breaking” too much. Another was for my AHT (w/c was six seconds behind the standard – can you believe that). I’ve always had trouble with authority anyway (passive-aggressive tactics have always been my specialty).
  • Second, it’s about my phone. The company provided one. I know it’s my fault for being thick enough as to forget my own PIN code. But making me wait for three weeks to get my SIM replacement was a bit excessive, don’t you think? I have no idea how SIM cards were made, but I don’t think they include taking it to Mount Doom to be forged by Sauron himself! (That’s the only acceptable reason why it has taken that long). Anyway, I have learned my lesson. My phone does not have a PIN code now, and I won’t put one until I’m sure I can remember the wretched thing, even under duress.
  • Oh, and one other thing. I committed a semi-grand “boo-boo” at work. Apparently, something I wrote (I keep a little notepad beside my interface when I take calls, you know) caught the attention of some people within the company (and in a bad way too! Again: question, why do I keep sabotaging myself?) Our QA showed it to me this morning. I perfectly remember making that note – I was in very bad disposition that time. You know I’m always out of sorts with one thing or another, but that day I felt exceptionally cross. So I wrote something to the effect of: I really don’t like this job (w/c is true to some extent – quite pathetic too – because I haven’t got the guts to actually leave right now, since I still need the money. I’m a little too old to be “screwing” around with my artist friends – gone were the days of sitting at the back alley of the municipal hall talking about anything under the sun – that’s the thing I miss the most about them, I could mention Kafka or Tolstoi and not get a weird look -, or staying all afternoon at the stadium, or staying together in the park in the middle of a signal number 2 storm while eating “siomai”) and that I’m glad to be leaving next year, plus I enumerated some of the other jobs I had before (Eperformax is my fourth job). Then there’s the really inappropriate “What is great about humanity? I hope a plague wipes out the whole species!” – yikes! (quoting the guy from ASC) Stupid of me, really. I should keep my thoughts to myself when I’m at work, I know. We don’t want to anger the powers that be.
  • Lastly, I get “markdowns” at work for the most trivial matters. It’s been a long standing problem for me. I am my worst enemy, I believe. Sometimes I think it’s either due to boredom or just sheer laziness.

I decided to watch Bubblegum Crisis Tokyo 2040 again, finally figured out that I should re-install the K-Lite Codec pack (it appears that my Codec files were a bit old); to solve that annoying “upside-down double screen” problem that I’ve been having whenever I try to play the OGM files. The solution has been lodged at the back of my mind for some time now. I just keep on forgetting it. The Japanese voice-overs were much, much better than the English ones. The most glaring difference lies with the voice of Brian J. Mason. The English voice actor’s rendition was downright horrible! His Mason sounds like a “lecherous sleazebag”, I have no idea how I have come to this conclusion, but those words pop up whenever I hear him speak. The Japanese voice over, however, projects an air of “seriousness”, “menace” and a “tinge of sadness”. The general dialogue pattern is also markedly different, much more “poetic”. 

October 12-13, 2007 

They’ve got to be f*ckin kidding me! Another major “disaster” has occurred at work. A FINAL WRITTEN WARNING was issued because I was not able to follow the AHT requirement for my tenure (97 days = 4:40 standard). I’ve always hated these “measuring” instruments in corporate environments. So why am I working for this company? Seeing as I, well, not really me, but rather my very “nice” call center alter-ego, Elizabeth, have been called “garbage” by some quasi-person from the middle of nowhere. But perhaps, I should take pity rather than hate the “poor soul” who could not vent somewhere else. I also encountered two exceptionally “thick” personalities (I am practically in “awe” that they can BE that thick and continue to survive!) First, was a man who, no matter how much I modified my explanation about the Default APR, continues to claim that he does not understand! Now I know how talking to a wall, or else a black hole would be like. I spent about 15 minutes (to the detriment of my AHT) trying all manner of what I believe would have been qualified as “layman’s terms”, short of using “stone-age” language. If I could only grab his head and transport the images from my brain to his, like computer data transfer, then I believe we would have understood each other. But sadly, the call ended with him not understanding one iota of the lengthy and vividly described argument I gave him (I try to explain things as short and concise as possible, but when all else fails, I expound further on the subject.) But “astonishingly”, neither tactic worked!  

Second, was a woman whom I spent 20 minutes with going, literally “back and forth” about the terms of her “convenience check”; It is something I have explained a dozen times before, and has been understood right from the very beginning by everyone else! She even accused me of “compounding” things (moi?!) , in the middle of my explanation regarding the computation of the “interest rate” (the rate for the check is 1.99F, and she wanted to write one for $29,925 – we even had a hard time with something as simple as a “one-time” fee of $75.00 for using the check – )


so…last week on my latest job (penciller), be off to another job by march. probably call centers again, as I need to sustain myself while I prepare myself for going abroad. i can’t seem to be able to stay in one place for a long time (it causes lethargy and a sense of being trapped – it’s the most horrible feeling in the world).

oh…and the juicy part…I finally get to live alone (for the first time). Comes with mixed feelings of course, but also a sense of possibility and independence (the “nomad” in me is finally getting some “fun”). I plan to bed space, go home (san pablo, whenever i can) and practice my “life” sketching techniques ( in the morning I can still practice my portrait-making and at night go to work).

of course, it won’t always be smooth-sailing, but at least I get to take the reins in my own life. i went to this bookstore a little while ago and found this book “Living Alone & Liking It”….hehehe..seems appropriate.

The Amidala portrait i’ve been working on is coming beautifully. it looks almost painterly and alive now… ;p no kidding. i’m going for a “soul-ful” portrait here, so far i’m quite successful.

I spent my two days off working on Amidala and watching Pirates of the Carribean 1 & 2 (that film manages to drive away – if only for a while – the more pressing problems in life; especially watching Jack Sparrow and gang perform their antiques. that can only be described as “pure fun”).

I’ve ceased watching “heavy” movies as of late. Maybe later on, when I’m in the mood.

“The Pearl is Freedom” – Captain Jack Sparrow



There are times when I look at the mirror…and think…”who the F*ck are you?!” …”what the hell are you doing here?”
could be an offshoot or after effect of the ever-present “headache”…the mirror is can be dangerous…there are shadows lurking about sometimes.

anyway, enough with spookiness…i bought another book today. The Horse Whisperer by Nicholas Evans. Seems interesting enough and cheap too. Bargain price 45 php.

I’m on the roll yesterday, but I’m not in the mood for updates as of now.