Angelina Jolie as Fox from the movie WANTED. Pencil on drawing paper. By M.R. Ayo
With that out of the way, let’s move on. I’ve recently seen the teaser poster for the movie “Twilight”. And must admit I was intrigued. The guy was handsome (didn’t realize that it was Robert Pattinson – Cedric Diggory from the fourth Harry Potter movie- until a much closer inspection), definitely caught my eye. So, off I go for some research to find out what “Twilight” was all about (sorry I’ve been living inside a cave, I’ve seen the covers in my local bookshop; but I was too busy with Chuck Palahniuk, Ayn Rand and Neil Gaiman to pay much attention to the crowds swarming around “the hottest thing since Harry Potter”). Turns out this was a YA series about a girl who falls in love with a vampire. Alright, there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not a die-hard fan of vampire romances, but I’ve definitely read my share of Bram Stoker, Anne Rice and watched shows like “Forever Knight”, “Angel”, “Buffy” and “Moonlight” (latest favourite).
There were four books in the series (Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn) and it was written by one Stephanie Meyer, according to the what I gathered she’s “a Mormon housewife-turned-novelist”, nothing wrong with that either. I proceeded to find e-book copies of “Twilight” (don’t want to waste money, so I’ll look first if it’s worth reading), and read some reviews.
After some reading, the verdict is, Twilight Series is a bad, bad book. To even put it in the same level as Harry Potter is an insult to Joanne Rowling. I am a Harry Potter fan and an avid reader of fantasy novels, I’ve read and re-read all the seven books numerous times, especially when I’m stressed; although I can’t be bothered with cosplaying, collecting wands and all that. I just stick with the books and occasionally draw the characters. It’s not Ayn Rand or Virginia Woolf, but there was something magical and compelling about the characters and the world J.k. Rowling created, that’s it’s worthy of comparison to Charles Dickens and J.R.R. Tolkien. Even Stephen King loved it (if you’ve read the Dark Tower Series, he incorporated some HP elements in there). Harry Potter is about the importance of friendship, bravery, loyalty, equality, second chances and looking beyond physical appearances, whereas Twilight is all about PHYSICAL BEAUTY.
With Twilight the comparison should not be to J.K. Rowling (the only thing Meyer and Rowling has in common is that they were both mothers) but to Christopher Paulini’s Eragon. But at least Eragon was “readable” – granted, Chris Paulini wrote it when he was 15 years old, and as we say here in the Philippines, “Hello!”, and it got a little better as the author matured. Ms. Meyer came up with Twilight in her thirties, after a degree in English(!) and this “travesty” is the result. I mean I’ve read much, much better fanfiction (I’ve written a couple myself a few years ago and hey..maybe I can get published too! *eye roll*)
Where to start?
The writing itself is a “headache”, so to speak. I keep “stumbling” along paragraphs and thinking, “What the hell was that supposed to mean??”. “Incandescent chest”?? “Scintillating arms??” “the meadow paled??” paled?? really?? Hello! And was it necessary to tell the readers that Bella had a granola bar for breakfast, while being very vague about the entire plot – if there was one? How does that help the story? Please enlighten me. Unnecessary descriptions abound as well.
Next would be “THE Characters (TM)”. Bella Swan (short for Isabella Swan – I mean, do you notice that “subtlety” or lack thereof?) was the worst protagonist I’ve ever encountered (too bad the novel is in first-person) she’s the American version of Miaka Yuuki. She has no ambitions, no beliefs, no backbone (she can’t walk two steps without getting almost raped, kidnapped etc.) and literally no life without Edward around her. She’s “unconditionally and irrevocably in-love” with him after 2 weeks! Wow! All she does is go on and on about how perfect, beautiful, god-like, seraphic, an angel and so on he is -the first 100(!) pages are more or less about her obsession with his supposed perfection. The girl is a flake and a card-board cut-out of a character, she describes herself as “clumsy”, “shy” and “not attractive”, really?? But what about having 5 boys practically following her around after 2 days in a new town, for doing nothing(!) how is that for “not attractive”? Because she’s “special” as the author never fails to remind us (but why was she special?? no “proof” or reason was given, she’s not particularly intelligent – but some people would dare compare her to Elizabeth Bennett or Jane Eyre?? – nor is she genuinely kind, friendly etc., she’s not even an “anti-heroine”, she’s simply a black hole).
What’s more she “loves” Edward because he’s beautiful, and we are not talking about inner beauty here, no sir. Again it’s his perfect teeth, smile, face whatever. And if I have to read more descriptions about how beautiful, perfect and god-like Edward is, I’m going to puke. Oh, before I forget, he “glitters” as well. Isn’t it amazing? And Edward loves her because she smells like gourmet food. If I wanted dysfunctional, twisted vampire-human relationships, I’d settle for “Hellsing”. At least Integral Hellsing is Alucard’s “equal”, if not in strength then in mind. She can stand up to the force of his personality, whereas Isabella Swan follows Edward Cullen like a puppy, I mean she does almost everything old Eddie tells her to, without much thinking. He tries to control every aspect of her life and behaves like a peeping-tom; a primary candidate for a restraining order in other words.
Edward and Bella’s supposed “love” is not even worth looking into. They have no connection, emotional or intellectual. Their conversations are all about NOTHING. And this is what they want young girls to read?? That it’s ok to be “a woman of no substance”, that they should fall apart and try to jump of a cliff if their boyfriend left them? I’d never let my daughters touch this book. Never. What’s sad about Twilight was that there’s so much wasted potential, in the hands of a capable author, it might have developed into something worth reading.
There are way better titles, there’s “His Dark Materials Trilogy” by Philip Pullman – now, if I’m looking for a worthy heroine, there’s always Lyra Belacqua) or “The Chronicles of Narnia” by CS Lewis. And that really excellent YA book called “Speak” by Laurice Halse Anderson.
