..an “unfinished” life..

Background Music: “Alumina” by Nightmare

Reading: “To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee

Technically, this is an entry about things I’ve left “hanging”, be it books, anime, j-drama or drawings. I can’t believe my day-off is almost finished (again). I have a “low-key” headache (meaning not an “all-out-stay-in-bed” kind, more like a dull throbbing behind my eyes) due to my irregular sleeping habits.

Cut. I fell asleep just after writing the entry above. Woke up at around 11:30 pm (if I were on the job, I’d be blabbing away).

Let us start with books. Can’t remember all of them.

“Night Watch” by Sergei Lukyanenko - I bought this one last year (November to be exact). Read it on and off for a couple of months. I got as far as the second part. But then rapidly lost interest. Not sure why.

“Crime and Punishment” by Fyodor Dostoyevski – I have nothing against Russians, believe me. I acquired this March(?) last year. It was a truly engaging novel. The protagonist, Raskolonikov was a rather tragic and complex character. I’m somewhere in the beginning (I read the longish preface and the author’s biography before going for the actual novel). The most probable reason why I got stuck was that it was buried beneath a pile of rubbish, I actually thought I’d lost it. Thank goodness my father did some cleaning up. I just need to jump start my interest.

“Atonement” by Ian McEwan – a recently bought title. Made it through about 1/4s of the novel. Then I somehow lost interest (for now). I suspect it will be like The Golden Compass, I stopped reading a couple of pages near the end, but then one day I decided to pick it up and finished the book.

“The Subtle Knife” by Philip Pullman – almost done with this one. Almost 3/4s. I just don’t want to finish it before I get the third book, The Amber Spyglass.

“The Wolves of Calla” (Stephen King), “Jarhead” by Anthony Swofford, “The Little Friend” by Donna Tartt and “Hannibal Rising” by Thomas Harris – All were acquired at almost the same time (sometime during February). Stuck in the “reading limbo”. I’ll probably start at them again, one of these days.

I really have to stop buying even more books. (Not)

Now on to Anime. Most of these were the ones I’m watching at Crunchyroll.

Mobile Suit Gundam 00 – I started off as a very enthusiastic fan of the series. The first couple of episodes were well-paced and well-plotted, character development was right on the mark too. But then as the show progressed, I began to notice the appearance of “unnecessary characters” – the Thrones for example – (most of whom “died”/”disappeared” in the season finale – but they were so under-developed that I couldn’t care less if they lived or died). In any case, I’m planning to see this to the (bitter-I hope not) end. I liked the main protagonist and some of his comrades (I just can’t stand the too frequent fan service at times, just look at Sumeragi Lee Noriega and you’ll see what I’m talking about). Plot-wise? It’s headed for “bad” (Sunrise seems to favour spectacular explosions to decent writing these days). They are trying to squeeze-in so many concepts at once. I know this should not matter, but the choice of colours were a bit of a turn off as well, pink seems to be a little bit too prominent (even in space explosions??)

Turn A Gundam – Now if you are looking for great character development (and I mean “book” great) and reasonable plot, this series will definitely capture your attention (I imagine those who favour explosions will be bored to tears). It is a while before anything happens (the main character is not a “brooding-type”, he is more like Kira Yamato-minus the excessive crying and other annoying habits. He is “good” without getting on your nerves. The essentially normal, decent fellow.) The animation is pretty old (they still used good -old-fashioned cells), this is the last Gundam Project Yoshiyuki Tomino was directly involved in. Besides Loran (the main guy), I also liked the character of Dianna Soreil (some reviewers even claim that she was one of the most well-written female characters in the Gundam Series – intelligent, mature, reserved and a great leader. I know, I’m getting a bit biased here ;p). So why did I stop watching? I got as far as Episode 35. I’ll just buy the DVD. It’s better that way. EDIT: checked Crunchyroll a few minutes ago. Guess what? The series was licensed, so I won’t be able to watch it there even if wanted to.

On a side note, I miss Gundam Wing (I left both of my copies at home).

TV Series and J-Drama.

“Koshonin” (The Negotiator) – I’m not sure I’ll even get around to finishing this. Having Yu Shirota as one of the main leads is, sadly, not enough. The actress playing the title character, just cannot “act”.

“Supernatural” – I finally finished Season One! I thought I’d be forever stuck. I started a couple of episodes from Season Two. Well, it does get repetitive at times.

Gaaagh! It’s already 1:00 in the morning. Mine eyes are stinging. :p

..like tears in the rain…

“It’s too bad she won’t live. But then again, who does?”
Blade Runner (1982)

Didn’t you know?

I have a talent for getting myself into situations and things I normally would have preferred to have nothing to do with.

Just finished Blade Runner (again). Was browsing at the Makati Cinema Square earlier (the benefits of piracy is that I get to watch films I would never see under normal circumstances, I just saw a DVD of “The Suicide Manual” and an entire Alfred Hitchcock collection, how’s that?) I’m lucky to find a great copy (I suspect it’s the 2007 “Final Cut” edition). Roy Batty’s “tears in the rain” speech never fails to move me (in fact, when I first saw the film a couple of years ago, it had me weeping senseless for a few minutes, can’t figure out why – much like my “crying bouts” when I watch war films, battle scenes – if executed properly- bring tears to my eyes).

I had a fairly surreal week (won’t categorize it as downright bizarre, but close). It seems as though all I did was wake up, go through my usual routine (stare at the ceiling, read, bathe, go to my -expletive deleted- work) and sleep again (and no I don’t feel refreshed when I wake up, it’s as though someone tried to bludgeon me to death while I slept, with mildly successful results, like my bones were broken – but unfortunately I’m not dead).

Went with some co-workers to a swimming resort yesterday. Didn’t do any swimming at all (although I ate and drank some). Got home at around 5:00 am. It’s our last day together (we’ll be deployed to our teams tomorrow). I don’t really expect much, I’m just there to work (my schedule starts at 4:25pm to 1:25am, not surprising, I’m used to working during ungodly hours). I just hope I’d last long enough in this job (I am starting to get really bored again, as I have mentioned for the nth time).

Some people will be moving in on our place, maybe tomorrow or on the 15th. My apartment would have been at home in Tokyo, Japan. It’s rather cramped but cozy (except during summer time, when the heat is enough to have you taking a bath three times a day). I forgot, I have to move my things in the other room. But I’ll probably start tomorrow. My mind is rather muddled.

Got a copy of “To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee today.

“Gambatte ne, Onizuka-sensei!”

On the “Suspending-Reality-Series”

Background Music: “Poison” (Slow Version) - GTO Live OST

Skipped work yesterday. I wish I could do the same today, but that would be pushing my luck too far (might as well resign, ne?) Tch! Anyway, I’ve just finished Great Teacher Onizuka (live action). Yes, all 12 episodes + the drama special + the movie, no wonder my eyes are bloodshot! I can’t sleep anyway, because of the (expletive deleted) heat. Excellent series, I can’t believe I’ve been putting it off for so long! This is the story of Eikichi Onizuka, an idealistic former biker/gangster who wanted to be a teacher. He employs some “extremely” unorthodox methods (and that’s putting it lightly), but just the same he was able to reach his students, in a way his contemporaries could not. *Sigh* Makes me wish I had a teacher like him (I wouldn’t have “despised” my early high school days that much, if that was the case).

Masasabi ko lang ASTIG(!!) talaga ‘tong si Onichi, grabe! Kakaiba nga lang dumisiplina (biruin mo ba namang ibitin ng patiwarik yung “bully” sa rooftop ng school para maranasan ng kumag kung ano ang pakiramdam ng pinagkakaisahan, piliting mag-drop-out ang sariling eskwela para matulungang matupad ang pangarap nito, i-barikada ang eskwelahan at kung ano-ano pa, o, san ka pa??!) pero swak na swak, at talaga namang may natutunan yung estudyante. At isa pa, talagang inuuna nya yung kapakanan ng mga eskwela nya (quesehodang mawalan sya ng trabaho, wala sya paki!) O, ha?! handa rin syang makipag-basagan ng bungo at ilagay sa alanganin ang reputasyon nya para sa kanila.

Yataaaa!!! I was able to locate the soundtrack at last, been searching for it since yesterday. That’s another wonderful thing about GTO, I especially loved the slow version of the main theme, “Poison” (composed and sung by Takashi Sorimachi – the very actor who plays Onizuka).

EDIT: April 10, 2008 (10:46 am)

If I didn’t know any better, I would swear that every (expletives deleted) day is exactly the same! Take today and yesterday, for example. Yesterday, I woke up at exactly the same hour (9:15 am) and did the same things (stared at the ceiling, looked at the clock, rationalizing why I should not wake up yet..etc.) The only difference was that I did not go to work. I looked outside the window and even the weather is similar (bit freaky, really). This is the reason why I am so bored (and spend much of my time reading and sleeping). An explosion (or any event that promotes chaos) would be just nice (to alleviate the mind-numbing effects of routine). Gaagh! In a few minutes, I will be trudging down the same path to get to work (maybe I should double-back just for variety) and in another few hours I will be searching for numbers and enjoying the perks of speaking to the majority of the British public (maybe I should yell at a customer just to see what happens..and hope it won’t be monitored *evil laughter*). But wait, it’s payday, I think. Gaagh. Really, I just want to cryogenically freeze myself and wake up centuries later (when things are more exciting).

Or maybe not, the way things are going, it is more likely that centuries later will even be worse (unless there are space colonies and mobile suits, and then there would be massive conflict in which half of humanity will be obliterated and then….sorry. got carried away), they might have wires attached to your head to keep you in perfect lock step with others (a regression to the Neanderthal era would be better – where instead of buying processed food, you get to participate in hunting down what’s for dinner – mammoth steak, anyone?)

I’m telling you, I was born in the wrong century, no the wrong era, the wrong planet!

“who is really unfair?”

Background Music: “Theme of Laura” (Silent Hill OST)

Reading: “The Subtle Knife” by Philip Pullman

On the J-Dorama Scene

Second day at home (it’s my day-off). So far, what I’ve done is technically “laze around” (ala Ahomiya) the house. I’ve finished another J-Dorama, something called “Unfair” (11 Episodes – Shinohara Ryoko; Eita). A detective thriller of sorts, the story is not without plot-holes (and the occasional fan-service), but the suspense was sufficient enough to keep me interested. It doesn’t hurt that there’s a little bit of social commentary introduced (ala Se7en). The ending was quite sad (as I really liked the main antagonist), but then, as they say, life is unfair. Great performance by all actors, especially by Shinohara Ryoko (her intelligent, no-nonsense, tough-as-nails detective was, for me, a very sympathetic character. We need more women like her). Although the repeated inserts of “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child became quite a nuisance after a while.

I was originally watching “Koshonin” (The Negotiator – Yonekura Ryoko, Yu Shirota ), but was turned-off by the “non-acting” I noticed from the titular character (Usagi Reiko has only three sets of facial expressions: the “bug-eyed-look”, the “squinty-eyed-gaze” and the “I-am-so-bored-look”). There’s also that weird “Hannibal Lecter/Clarice Starling-esque” relationship between her and a death row inmate (played by Yu Shirota, he seemed sufficiently creepy for a while, but I’d prefer Sir Anthony Hopkins any day – the conversations between them are not too interesting either). And there’s also the fact that she spends more time “trying to look sexy” than actually working (Who wears three-inch heels and a short skirt when negotiating with dangerous criminals? Wouldn’t pants be more sensible?). And this show is supposed to be serious and “realistic”??! But maybe that’s also the director’s and the script-writer’s fault. Aarrgh! But still, I’ll try to finish it for curiosity’s sake (and because I like Yu Shirota).

EDIT: 7:02 PM

Currently viewing, Great Teacher Onizuka (the j drama). Been meaning to watch this, but somehow, I always get sidetracked, it’s hilarious. Just finished the first episode and looking forward to the conclusion.

Morning Rituals

When I wake up in the morning, I tend to stare at the ceiling for a couple of minutes before I actually move or get up (this is because I’m trying to imagine/asses how the day would turn out, although most days are just the same; and to leave my mind “blank” for a while, as there are times when I feel as though all my thoughts are trying break out of my head – that probably doesn’t make sense, but what the hell).

After which, I grab the nearest book and read for around 30 minutes or more (I keep a stack of books near the head of my “mat” – as I prefer sleeping on the floor – for this purpose). This helps put my mind in order.

Then I work on the Laptop for a designated amount of time (these days I don’t turn it off at night, just in case I happen to wake up at 3:00 am for no discernible reason, something which frequently occurs).

Lastly, I check out what’s for breakfast and take a bath.

My job isn’t exactly hard, but the repeatition (something I detest) is somewhat taking it’s toll on me. At the end of the day, what I really want to do is sleep (or else imagine myself being swallowed alive by the bedroom floor, never to be seen again).

I am certain I’m not supposed to be somewhere else, but I don’t know where.

I know I’m supposed to be doing something else, but I don’t know what exactly (it’s just hovering at the back of my head).

Movies to Watch Out for

WANTED (June 27, 2008) – James McAvoy, Angelina Jolie, Sean Bean and Morgan Freeman

Synopsis (from movieweb)

Based upon Mark Millar’s explosive graphic novel series and helmed by stunning visualist director Timur Bekmambetov — creator of the most successful Russian film franchise in history, the Night Watch series — Wanted tells the tale of one apathetic nobody’s transformation into an unparalleled enforcer of justice. In 2008, the world will be introduced to a hero for a new generation: Wesley Gibson.

25-year-old Wes (James McAvoy) was the most disaffected, cube-dwelling drone the planet had ever known. His boss chewed him out hourly, his girlfriend ignored him routinely and his life plodded on interminably (oh, that certainly describes 3/4s of the population). Everyone was certain this disengaged slacker would amount to nothing. There was little else for Wes to do but wile away the days and die in his slow, clock-punching rut.

Until he met a woman named Fox (Angelina Jolie).

After his estranged father is murdered, the deadly sexy Fox recrui ts Wes into the Fraternity, a secret society that trains Wes to avenge his dad’s death by unlocking his dormant powers. As she teaches him how to develop lightning-quick reflexes and phenomenal agility, Wes discovers this team lives by an ancient, unbreakable code: carry out the death orders given by fate itself.

With wickedly brilliant tutors — including the Fraternity’s enigmatic leader, Sloan (Morgan Freeman) — Wes grows to enjoy all the strength he ever wanted. But, slowly, he begins to realize there is more to his dangerous associates than meets the eye. And as he wavers between newfound heroism and vengeance, Wes will come to learn what no one could ever teach him: he alone controls his destiny.

I first saw the trailer on the screening of Atonement. I thought it looked “slick”. I watch movies like these from time to time, especially when I’m stressed. While it is highly unlikely that I will be trading the cubicle for a gun, to be an “enforcer of justice”, it’s good to imagine myself in the characters’ shoes for two hours. Just reminded me, this is definitely the kind of film my friends from back home (“Envy” and “Skater Girl”) would certainly appreciate.

DEFIANCE (no release date yet, 2008) – Alexa Davalos, Daniel Craig, Jamie Bell and Liev Schreiber

The film revolves around Jewish brothers (Craig, Schreiber and Bell) living in Nazi-occupied Poland who escape into the Belarussian forest where they join Russian resistance fighters in battling the Nazis. Throughout the war, they build a village inside the forest and save the lives of more than 1,200 Jews. Zwick’s screenplay is based on Nechama Tec’s book “Defiance: The Bielski Partisans.” (from movieweb)

I just have a good feeling with this one (a compelling story + three of today’s most capable actors lead the cast). View trailer.

On the Book Scene

Finally I was able to move on to the second book of “His Dark Materials”, I miss Iorek Byrnison (the great armored bear), he has become one of my most favourite characters. Too bad he won’t make an appearance until the third book. Still stuck with “Atonement”.

It’s time for “Wangst!”

(Gaagh!) Another day gone, tomorrow I have to go to work again – or the world would end. Just thinking about it makes me ill, no..that’s not right..sitting in a cubicle all day, taking calls – and sometimes verbal abuse from people you’ve never met – is supposed to excite me!? Sorry, I’m not masochistic. Egad! Here I go again, complaining. This is the only thing I’m capable of as of now, pathetic really. (one more time – gaagh!)

I just want to say, my experiences have actually resulted in me building very a “thick wall against reality”(some might say, I’m quite selfish), it’s not that I daydream all the time (I look grounded, pragmatic and serious, and in fact I AM), but more than one half of myself is in the clouds, it’s a survival mechanism. I’m always on “auto-pilot” when I’m outside. It’s only a sense of propriety that is preventing me from running for the hills (or around the city) screaming: YAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Lastly, (really) my internet connection is “acting-up” again.